Epilated, bushy, punky, rasta, groomed, neglected, exposed, hidden, … There are so many variations when it comes to intimate hair removal. So many ways of taking care of our bodies, dictated by our desires, by our vision of beauty or that of society, by our fantasies, for a feeling of hygiene, to seduce, out of conviction, out of claim, out of comfort.
I find this theme very interesting, as it reveals a lot about our personality, our relationship with our body, our life choices and our vision of the world.
Whatever the case, in my opinion, the most important thing is to feel good about yourself. Choosing what’s right for you, while respecting your needs and limits. In this article, I share my self-esteem journey, my hairy experiments, … my meeting with Laeticia, and my conclusions;
In this article, I also talk specifically about intimate hair… But in fact all this is valid for all body hair…
As a child, my parents always took me to naturist campsites, so I’ve always been used to seeing naked people. It’s a great gift that my parents gave me, because nudity has always been something natural for me. I’m not ashamed of my body, nor of seeing other people’s bodies. I was able to discover the naked bodies of people of all ages. I could observe how the body evolves throughout life. How beautiful and natural people can be when they’re in harmony with their bodies. In my experience, nudity is not associated with sexuality. It can of course be part of it, but it’s not conditional. And naturist spaces, camping, saunas, sharing a bathroom… are great places to experience this. If you have trouble loving your body, if you have trouble with the way others look at you, and you want to feel lighter and freer about these issues, daring to live this experience can be very healing. To guarantee respect and safety (especially for children), some campsites require family sponsorship for access. If you’d like some good addresses and I’d like to sponsor you, you can talk to me about it during your next massage with me.
During my childhood, in the 80s and 90s, very few people were waxed or shaved in their private parts. Then, as I grew older, more and more people began to have their private parts trimmed. Today, the majority of people are partially or totally depilated.
What about me? When I was a teenager, then a young adult, I didn’t really care how I dressed or took care of my body. Maybe it was a form of rebellion or anarchism. A way of showing I was different and not supporting mass movements.
A few years ago, I started to work on myself, on my self-image, on the care I could give to my body. I began to realize that maybe I wasn’t really taking care of myself. That I wasn’t paying attention to my hair, my beard, my body hair, my health, my clothes, my things, just maybe the minimum of what I thought was right at the time…
Through a tantric process of awareness, I set out on a path of acceptance of who I am, of the body vehicle I received in this life. I also realized that I’d never really received this sensitivity to body care from my parents. That they had never been an example to me in that respect. So I turned to resource people around me, who guided and inspired me to take care of myself. Buying a perfume, a nice piece of clothing, a new haircut, … How to take care of my things, put them away properly, … Well … I’m still a bit of a chaotic artist… But today I feel fully in balance with that.
One fine day, I looked at my sex surrounded by a lush jungle of hair. I realized that I didn’t think I was very glamorous. But what could I do? If I start giving myself a little trim, won’t it grow back stronger? How will I look at myself? What am I trying to prove to myself by doing this? And what will other people think? My partner, my friends, my parents if they find out? Other people at naturist campsites? What will they think of me? And then all the judgments I’d had at that point in my life about someone who takes care of themselves appeared in my mind: Are they going to think I’m a “slut”? (I like to use this term in the feminine, because in the masculine for me, it doesn’t have the same connotation… ), that I’m trying to be virile (with all the unhealthy connotations of macho), that I want to pass myself off as a Don Juan, that I don’t accept my body as it is,… In short, all the limiting messages in my mind, which ultimately show me that I’m afraid of no longer being loved.
Am I not hiding behind all this hair? Hiding a part of my masculinity I wasn’t comfortable with?
Anyway, one day, I took a pair of scissors and shortened the hair a little. Just discreetly… It was already more pleasing to the eye.
Over time, as I became more comfortable with the subject and with my body, I cut my hair shorter, then shaved and later tweezed (a tedious and painfully pleasant task).
Today, with all these years of journey towards myself, I love looking at my sex, I send it all kinds of love and attention, I love the sensations it offers me, I love its softness, its power, I love the caresses it can offer to others, I love when someone looks at it and gives it love and presence. I’m no longer afraid to hide it.
Sexuality has always attracted me enormously, and I’ve been exploring it since I was very, very young. In the course of this exploration, I’ve come to realize that I particularly love oral sex. Offering cunnilingus, for example, is something I adore. But having hair in my mouth isn’t my thing at all. I like to slide my tongue over the outer lips, explore the mound of Venus, gently work my way towards the base of the clitoris. I like kissing, licking the skin, nibbling, smelling, but I’m not so keen on doing all that when it’s a jungle of hair. So when it’s bushy… I’m less inspired and much less creative.
As a result, my partners often choose to shave or wax in order to receive my gentle caresses. I share my point of view with them, and let them draw their own conclusions based on their own desires.
And then, I do the same, … Because I also like to receive blowjobs, it was obvious that it was in my interest to take care of my lingam (penis in Sanskrit) so that it would be more enticing.
A few years ago, I started giving tantric massages. By then, I’d already made a major transformation in the way I looked at myself and the love I could offer myself.
Receiving my clients for massages, I wanted to offer them a beautiful experience, both in the massage and in the contact with me. At the time, my partner didn’t really like me shaving, because it stung or itched her during intimate relations. I’d also had several tantric massages by masseuses who shaved, and I discovered that being massaged by emri paper (pumice paper) wasn’t the most pleasant experience. The other disadvantage of shaving is that you have to do it every day to avoid that raspy effect.
So I turned to waxing and honey. At first, it was an obstacle course to find an aesthetic center willing to do intimate male hair removal. Finally, after numerous phone calls, I found a few super patricians in Liège who did. But it’s very painful, and waxing the testicles is really not easy, as the skin is very elastic and tends to want to leave with wax… I did it for 2 years… once a month. This represents a certain cost (50-60€) per depilation for a man. Often more expensive than for women, because it takes much longer.
In any case, although depilation (waxing/honey) gives softer skin and allows me to space out my waxing to 1 month. I still had occasional irritations, ingrown hairs, pimples like with shaving… In short, nothing very glamorous either…
So I looked into other techniques. I had heard of permanent laser hair removal, but according to some people, it’s not really permanent and it represents a big budget…
So I did my own analysis of the market and the different technologies. There are two main types of “laser” hair removal. Conventional lasers and pulsed light.
Pulsed-light laser hair removal is often less expensive, and there is less risk of burns. They can be performed by most beauticians. There are even small models you can use yourself. But the worry is that pulsed light is not effective over the long term. Hair regrowth is stronger than with conventional laser hair removal, and you’ll need to keep up regular reminders throughout your life.
The other technology is conventional laser hair removal. This is only offered by specialists, because if it’s used incorrectly, there’s a risk of burns. As lasers are much more powerful, they can burn the hair bulb. And as the sessions progress, there is less and less hair, which becomes finer and finer, eventually transforming into a fine blond down.
For women, it’s fairly easy to achieve good results between 6 and 10 sessions. But it’s important to remember that a woman’s hormonal cycle changes throughout her life, so a booster session is needed from time to time. For men, it takes a few more sessions (8-12) than for women to stop the hair growth. However, once it’s stopped, it rarely grows back.
I’ve already had 6 sessions and the results are amazing. I was already impressed after one session, and by the 4th session, hair was no longer a concern at all for the next 2-3 months. I’ve hardly any hair left growing (apart from the little trim I’ve decided to keep). The only hairs that are still there at the moment are almost transparent and ultra fine… After 3 months, I can see that some hairs are thickening and becoming darker. So the treatment isn’t over yet.
I go to the appointment every 2-3 months. It costs me almost the same as monthly waxing. So it doesn’t take long to do the math. Once the 6-12 sessions are over, … no more expenses… And above all, I don’t have to put up with 45 minutes of hair removal that really hurts. Here, with the laser, it’s done in 5-10 minutes.
In short, I’m convinced. My skin is super soft. I’ve never had ingrown hairs, pimples or irritation… It’s super comfortable, and it lasts. And even if I have to do a booster session one day, I think it’s worth it a thousand times over…
So there are several types of laser on the market. I had read a lot about the effectiveness of the laser using “Alexandrite” technology. So I did my first sessions with this laser. Very effective indeed. But let’s face it, it hurts too. But much less than waxing on the testicles, and it only lasts 5-10 minutes instead of 45 minutes.
The frequency of the laser destroys the hair follicle, permanently preventing the hair from growing back. Several sessions are required, as the laser can only destroy hairs in the growth phase. So you need to touch at least every hair during this phase.
In short, if like me, you want to simplify your life, have ultra-soft skin, be more … attractive… Take the laser hair removal option… If you’re in Belgium, contact me and I’ll redirect you to a reference. Otherwise, find out about the type of technology used in the centers near you. I have a friend who comes all the way from Germany to have her hair removed in Liège, because definitive laser hair removal in Germany costs twice as much as in Belgium…
You can also combine waxing with a tantric massage. You might as well make the trip worthwhile and treat yourself to a beautiful moment of relaxation. I’ll set up a massage subscription for you every 2-3 months…
Thank you for reading. Feel free to leave a comment. And subscribe to my newsletter!!!
Nicolas Deru
